A couple years ago I was at a birthday party at an outdoor bar in Tempe, AZ. It was mid-August so it was obviously very hot. One of the other guys at the birthday party walked up to Brian and me. Brian asked if his balls were sweating. He replied, “No, but you know what I was thinking…”
I immediately interrupted by saying, “about a fan that cools your balls by plugging into the methane from your ass?”
He said, “No, but that’s a good idea.” We then talked about the Rectal Powered Fan for a bit and he decided he was going to use it to pick up a girl at the bar. And it worked.
A few weeks later I was having dinner with my good friend Isaac. I was telling him about the RPF. He then mentioned how Mr. Fusion, the device Doc Brown had installed on the back of the Delorian in Back To The Future, ran on methane. This got me to think about the fact that if they had put some sort of tubing, a new synthetic from the future that would be more comfortable, through the Delorian and attached it to the driver’s rectum they could power the flux capacitor with farts.
When you think about it a crazy genius like Doc Brown would do this. For all we know he or Marty is lactose intolerant. All it would take is a glass of milk and they could easily jump 30 years. Maybe they wanted to go visit the future and took along a burrito. Why not?
There is the worry that the tube would leave things a little too open in the back and particles would seep out. If you’re worried about that then maybe create a filtration system that sucks the methane from your farts out of the air and fuels Mr. Fusion and in turn the flux capacitor.
Sometimes I think I have a little too much time on my hands.
Robot Vampire Productions 